Saturday, October 13, 2012

Words

As you can see, it's been a while since I have written. Written words have not come easily for me this last year. I think because to write, for me, means connecting to the truth of yourself. And after grad school I felt like I'd had plenty of truth, 130 pages of truth, ripped apart, revised, and bound into a thesis that felt like just a part of what I am. A hard part. I think this last year I have been searching for words. Attempting, and often failing, to solidify my experiences into weighted lines full of color and clarity. But, I wasn't feeling it. So I stopped writing, at least on paper or this screen. I've been collecting though. Snatching lines and images, love, and bits of beauty, but never making anything solid. But now it's time.

So I'm going to share a poem, one I started years ago, but for some reason today felt like it needed some tweaking. I think I've got it. I'd love to know what you think.

Love, Melinda



Stars

I had hurled the words
Now suspended in the air
“I am tired. I've had enough. I am finished.”
Perfected lines that screamed
For help, for truth
For something, different.

I had told him that I loved him
Made myself essential
As a hook
I was so afraid of losing
And we had searched for signs of life, for years
But now, I meant to cut, to slit, to sever.

The words hang between us
Bald bare, bone bare, and yellowing
Polished words kept inside this skull
Now ripped from their protective casing.

I was alone more than ever.

And yet, he stopped me,
Took my fists,
And carefully opened each finger
As if to reveal,
All those parts of me I chose to close

And there we stood, my fingers
Splayed out in his, like stars
And he caught my falling words
And placed them, gently, in my hands. 

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